It’s Going To Eat Me

There’s something in the coop. Holy crap. So every night I go out and lock everyone up. I have two chicken coops and the duck house. I have a system. Ducks 1st than the chickens. So as I go to the final coop. I close the door. It is super easy to close since I have a sliding cord that lowers the entry door on the side. Well as I close that door I hear something inside. It’s not a chicken sound. Something is inside. I am freaking out. I need to check right. Oh god I can’t. I’m not brave. What if it jumps out at me. What if it bites me. But ,my girls. I need to save the girls. They could be getting eaten. And I am standing here not saving them. Ok. I have to save them. WAIT! What if it’s a snake. I can’t I’m scared of snakes. Ok just breath. I need a stick. Where are all the sticks. Why can’t I find a stick. I have a shovel. I cant use that its too heavy. I need something I can maneuver. Oh crap I heard it again. I am opening the door. Here I go. I hear something. Nope. Slammed the door shut. I actually jumped out of the coop at this point. So here I am pacing back and forth in front of the coop. I can do this. I can save my girls. NO I CAN’T. Sorry ladies. I am chicken! No pun intended. It might eat or claw me. Ya’ll are on your own. Fight back. No No I can’t do that. I am there protector. Ok Mandy be brave. You can do this. Just open the door and yell really loud. It will scare off whatever is there. But what if my yelling causes it freak out and lunge in my direction. I need a shield. So I have two metal food containers inside the coop with lids. Ok So I take one of the lids to protect some of my body from the enemy. Ok here I go. I am going to save the ladies. So slowly very very slowly I crack the door. I hear the sound again. Ok don’t back down. You are this far. I’m scared. I have to reach my hand around the corner for the light. My hand! I like my hand. Oh goodness please dont bite my hand. Ok. Here I go. Small screams are escaping my body. I flip the light on, but in my fright I close the door again. Ok. Make noise. I am just talking and yelling really loud. Like this monster knows what I am saying. You better get out of there. I’m going to kill you. Yeah Right. One more peep talk to myself. I am brave and strong and I can do this. I slowly open the door just a crack to peek inside. All I can see is my chickens looking at me like I have lost my mind. Uggg. I have to open the door further. A little more. And then I see movement in the back corner. It is too dark in the corner for me to make out what it is. So what do I do. I yell some more. Show yourself. Really what am I saying. Like it’s gonna pull out ID. At this point my heart is beating out of my chest. I even have a moment and start bobbing my head. It;s a good beat! Well if this is the end I’m going out with good rhythm.I’m losing it! And then all of the sudden. What do I hear. A small quack. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! It’s a frigging DUCK. Here I am dressed like one of the knights at the round table ready for battle and it’s a Duck! Seriously. Why were you not making noise. You don’t shut up all day. And now you have nothing to say. Why in the heck is this duck in the coop. My ducks NEVER go into the coop. So now that I am not going to die or have to fend off any monsters. I place the lid back on the food container. And in a not so gentle manner shove the duck out of the coop and escort it back to it’s home! On my to-do list tomorrow. Find a STICK!


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