My Cat Is A Assassin

So most of my adventures, yes that’s what I will call them adventures. Happen outside with my farm animals.

Not today ladies and gentleman NOT today!

So my daughter was not feeling well today. And ended up going to bed early. I decided to go upstairs and check on her to make sure she was okay. Now I did not want to turn the light on in the hallway due to the fact that where her bed is placed in her room if you open the door it lights up her bed like a disco party. And I was trying to be the loving considerate mom. Bad Bad decision. I should have lit it up like the fourth of July.

I creep into her room quiet as a mouse and peek at her. She is sleeping soundly.

I quietly close the door and start to make my descend down the stairs. Now I get to about the 3^rd stair when all of the sudden unbeknownst to me our cat is laying on the stairs like a ninja contemplating my assassination. I of course did not see the killer waiting for me due to the fact I did not turn on any lights. So as I go to step down YEP it is right on her. Now the screams that left that cats body. She sounded possessed. Scratching and hissing. It scared the crap out of me. As I attempted to not crush her even though she is trying to kill me, I of course jump up and away. Screaming at my assassin for being there. I have lost my footing and my body plummets down. Going down hard! Timber! .Bouncing off the wall and handrail like a game of pinball.  And of course my front door is at the bottom of the stairs and guess what stops me. Slamming into the front door. So as I lay there body all twisted. I look like I am playing some alternate game of Twister. The ninja cat assassin casually walks over and past my body. Not even giving me a side glance. NOPE. Just walks away. She is not even limping. I am so mad she is not limping. If I could reach her. Ohhhh. She would be limping.

So I start to check my injuries. Ok. Let’s put this leg back there. Let’s put this arm back where it goes. Yep. I am going to feel that in the morning. Did I pee on myself? Still not sure. That will have to wait. As I get into a crawling position to get out of the confined space between the front door and stairs. My daughter peeks out her bedroom door. “Mom are you dead?” Well That is still to be determined at this time. I will let you know. “Ok I’m going back to bed”…. WHAT!

No problem!I will just lay here and die. Go rest your delicate little head child. Sorry to disturb you! For GOD SAKES ALIVE. I am just laying here because I was checking on you! 

I make it to the livingroom and am happy to report that I can seriously take a beating. I am not as battered as I thought. A bit sore. A few small scrapes from the handrail which I did not use! Really Mandy it’s there for a purpose. Still not sure if I peed myself. But I think I am ok.

Now! Time to find that Cat!