I Get A Surprise!

If I say today was just like any other day that would be a tremendous understatement. Today just plain sucked. From beginning to saturated end. Now I am not complaining about the heat. But summer has finally shown her big bright steamy suck the life from your soul beautiful head. And I think it just might be trying to kill me. The humidity this year!Doing the smallest chore or task on our little farm really takes effort. I am being serious. I have to talk myself into going out there. And I have to offer myself little treats and rewards.Like Ok Mandy go and clean the chicken coop and then you can have ice cream and tequila. The latter part is normally the motivator. So as many may know I have chickens, ducks, and a turkey named Bernard. I pick up my feed for my flock at my local co-op. Those bags weigh about 50 lbs. So for me, Yeah those suckers are a bit heavy. Now just to give you all perspective. We have built a feeder out of a 50 gallon Rubbermaid trash can with angled PVC pipe around the bottom. If you want to see a picture of this poultry feeder you can go check out my Instagram heart n soil farm. The feeder has a snap on lid which makes it easier to fill. And can hold almost 3 bags of feed. I feed my velociraptors a mixture of scratch grain and layer pellets. So as I stated before, today was one of those days where everything I did just either had an issue or took way longer to complete than I expected. We have finally completed moving the pig pen to its new location so that we can complete our greenhouse. And that has been very laborious. So I am officially wiped out. One of the final things that I had to accomplish today was filling up the feeder.  This is something I have done maybe a million times give or take a few hundred thousand. So here I am hot sweaty and a bit cranky.Not thinking of anything other than feed and flee. So I am on a mission. Eyes forward no distraction. Complete the mission.  I am hiking this 50 lb bag to the feeder. Now I have the feeder elevated a bit off the ground to make it more accessible to the chickens. I have a system when I have to fill this thing. I pull and remove the draw string. And lift it onto my shoulder. Boom feed empties easily into the feeder. Now when the little monsters see me coming with the feed bags they become noisier than your neighbors. You know Karen that lives three houses down. Oh Karen. As we say here in the south Bless Your Heart! I’m a Karen LOL. So anyway back to the Karens. And by the way that is the name of my chickens. Yep all of them. They are all Karen. Anyway back to my disaster. So I have several different breeds of chickens. I have large layers, rare breeds, and silkies. So depending on who is around me I keep a watchful eye on where I walk. The silkies. My poor blind beautiful birds. They just can’t help it. They don’t move out of the way quickly.So here I am dodging nosey and half blind chickens as I make my way to the feeder. I am huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf. So I make it up to the feeder. Set the bag down. Remove the drawstring. Give it a big Ol heave Ho onto my shoulder and flip the lid off to start to fill. As I flip the lid. Dear Sweet Baby Jesus. Something FAST and FURRY has flung itself at me. I think it was screaming. What in the Heck! At this point I have no idea what it is. All I know is I am screaming, backing away and remembering the chickens. Not wanting to stomp or trample them trying to see where I can safely flee. Losing my footing I trip over the swimming pool ( I have several kiddie pools for the ducks) and land butt first into the water. At this point I think I have forgotten the 50 lb of feed on my shoulder. That has been flung I must say in a beautiful circle pattern around me and a good 25 lbs or so are also now in my lap and down my clothing in the kiddie pool I now rest in. So many questions invade my mind as I marinate in warm, dirty duck water. With pieces of corn and seed bobbing all around me. What in the heck was that? And did I step on anyone? I am looking all around to try and find the furry flying ninja and also wanting to fend off any other surprise attacks. Now I have had this feeding system for three years. And have NEVER had a single issue with it.  Not one.Guess what attempted to attack me! A freaking Squirrel. Yep. That furry heart attack had let himself in, through one of the PVC pipes and was just feasting out. As I sit in my own stew I see that little sucker just sitting on the fence. I swear it smiled.  Yeah smile again sucker. Cocky little thing. And during this entire attack. Guess who comes to the rescue. NO one. These sticking chickens and ducks are just munching away on the now flung feed all around them. I think they thought they received a surprise. Nope jokes on me. I got a Surprise. Now that my sucky day has ended with such excitement and extreme saturation.  I will remove myself from this lovely warm duck corn stew and call it a day. 


2 thoughts on “I Get A Surprise!

  1. Oh, the squirrel stories I could tell. Yes, they do sit there and mock you in their self-satisfied way. You already know what they can do to a garden.
    You may want to look up Bill Adler Jr.’s “Outwitting Squirrels,” especially chapter three, “Know the Enemy.”
    I can’t help you with the humidity, though. My deepest sympathy.


  2. I like this story the first time that I read it and now during the encore, I’m laugh even harder not because of your predicament but having found myself on my butt SEVERAL times already this season and it’s only half time!!!!!! gheeeeeezzzz. 😎

    Liked by 1 person

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