The Shavings Are Out To Get ME

Holy Crap my car just tried to kill me. Seriously.

So as many of you know I have a small farm. We have chickens, ducks, pigs, and of course a bunny named Templeton. We also just started our meat chickens for this year.

Now, I want to take a small detour to set this up! Our farm is not at the level of being able to fully sustain us financially so I also work a full time job. We are hoping to attain this goal. But only time will tell if this becomes a reality. Fingers crossed.

I am on my way home from work. I have to make a stop at our local Co-Op to pick up wood shavings. I have the exciting chore of cleaning the stinking (literally) chicken coop when I get home.

I am happy to report that purchase went off without a hitch. Grabbed the shavings threw them in the back seat of the car and off I went zooming home. Now when I drive I am one of those crazy people you see sitting next to you at the light dancing and singing my little heart out! Yep! That’s me. Wave next time. I wave back. Or just dance with me! I am all about a good 2 minute dance off at the light. And yes I must admit to ya’ll. I love me some 80’s music. The rhythm is gonna get you, well at least me. lol.

So I am singing and jammin on my way home. Well, I noticed that my seat was back just a smidgen further than normal. My daughter must have been in my car! Let me just say. I do not have a fancy car. Nope. My seat does not have a fancy button that slowly guides you wherever your butt would like to go.Like a cushion of floating air. I have that lever in front of my seat that you have to pull and use leg power to move back and forth.

Now I might have been driving a bit faster than what I am allowed too. And as I went to move my seat forward, and remember that I just needed to go forward a little bit. Remember the shavings the ones I threw into the back seat the ones I bought without any issue. Unknown to me they have slid onto the floor as I hit the brake to slow down and in doing this my seat was flung like a slingshot into the steering wheel. What In God’s name Just Happened. I am thinking my seat has malfunctioned.

My right arm is slightly pinned still under my seat on the lever. My boobs are crushed into the steering wheel. I mean full on boob lift going on! Thank god my foot is on the break. So I am able to guide the car to the side of the road. I mean I am full on pretzel right now. I might need to call for help. I keep trying to push the seat back. But the stupid thing will not move! And I have NO idea why. At this point I am still unaware that there is a huge bag of shavings preventing the seat from moving back.

I am sitting there starting to get really mad. I am pushing with all my might trying to get this stupid seat back. At this point I am hot and sweaty. My boobs are actually hurting. I must save the ladies! My legs are all squished up, my knees are hitting the console. What do I do. I can’t believe I trapped myself in my own car. I am able to get my right hand up and I put the car in park. Ok think Mandy.

Do I call 911. OMG. I can’t believe this. I mean what would I say. Me: Yeah, Hi I am smashed into my steering wheel. Dispatch: Were you in an accident? Me: Nope. Just tried to move my seat up. They record those calls. No way! Not calling. Ok think……………..

Alright. So I open my door. I am just going to crawl out of the car. Now remember that whole on my way home from work. Yep still in my work clothes and I am wearing a dress. Why oh why did I have to look cute today! So here I go. I am like one of those little sausages you get in that can. You know the ones you peel off the top. Only difference no lube! My legs are pinned and I cannot get my leg out I try but not happening. It hurts my knee. So I take my butt and start to twist, wiggle,jiggle it toward the door. I am using my right hand to push me out and my left hand is on the door pulling. I can only imagine. And by the way. Cars are just passing my by. If they only knew I was there in my sausage can of a car trying to escape. The show they would get to see for free. But NOPE. Zoom Zoom suckers. So I get my butt out. Dress Up for all the world to see the goods. Pull my legs out. I am on the ground at this point. I stand up. Straighten myself up. And at this point I am able to see the shavings. Let me just say. I said some very CHOICE words to that bag! Yes I did. I grabbed the bag and yes I was very rough with it. And moved it to the other side of the car. I cannot even look at it. I move the death seat back to it’s upright and original non-death trap position. Check on the ladies. Check on my knees.

After a few more choice words I get back into the car. I no longer like this car.

And when I get home I am going to enjoy ripping the bag of shavings open. I will show you who is boss! Just wait.

Clover The Pig Rides In A Semi-Truck

After 17 years of marriage. I think I can honestly say I am one super lucky girl! I do not think me husband can say NO to me! Or he has finally come to terms if he says No well, I kinda just do it anyway. So I was on on Facebook. Ya know not looking for anything of importance. Just scrolling and liking. You all know the drill. Scroll, Like, and sometimes Ok that is funny. So sharing that! So here I am scrolling around. And all of the sudden what do I see. Oh my goodness. The absolute cutest baby pigs. I have a whole grinch moment! Seriously. My heart grew 10 times. They were just so tiny and snuggly. I just had to have one. I just had too. I message the lady to get information on these adorable little bacon bits. I found out she lives in McMinnville. That is about 4 hours away from me! Four hours! Crap! I can’t drive four hours! I swear I thought I was going to cry. I mean I had a full on tantrum. I just know of those precious babies wanted to live with me. I was so sad. And than Wait! I have a moment. My husband drives a semi-truck for a living. Go drives to several locations on different days of the week to complete unload. Now I do not keep up with his location or drop sites. He delivers all over Tennessee. But I do remember he has spoken about McMinnville and having to drop there. So here I go! Nancy Drew is on the case. So of course I can’t just come right out and ask! I mean he would know I was up to something. So over the course of the next few days. I am full of spy games. 007 has nothing on me. So I am asking little questions, you know nothing to give away my scheme. And with my super spy skills. I find out YES! He goes to McMinnville to unload. Yippie! Woot Woot. Now time to set the trap. LOL. Ok not trap. Just set things in motion. OK OK it’s a trap! So I contact the seller of my future piggie smalls. And get everything set-up. Now I am a good wife. Yes I am plotting something, but I will not allow it to directly affect his job. They have to unload for a few hours and I do not want him to have to take care of a baby pig while he is working, but after that is free game! So I tell her what day he is in her area. I let her know that he is not able to drive to her due to being in a semi-truck but could she deliver baby pig to him. She said YES! woot woot. His unload site is super close to where she lives! I am giddy at this point in time. Can you all picture my excitement? So everything is set. Location check, Drop off time check, Paid check. Now all I have to do it tell Hubby. No check. How am I going to pull this off. But I love her already. And I haven’t even met her yet! You can’t turn your back on love right? So the night before, I dropped the news on hubby. After I explained everything to him ya’ll he just stood there. Looking at me like I was crazy. His first response was Mandy you know I am in a semi truck right! How am I going to bring a pig home in a semi. Now I was prepared. I had practiced my answers. I already knew the questions.Here I go!I told him honey, Don’t worry there is nothing you need to do. She is bringing piggy in a box. She will have food and water. She is just going to ride with you. Again. Yep. He just stands there staring at me. His next question. Is it legal to even have a pig in a truck. Well, I don’t know! But I did not tell him this. Honey, I see people with dogs and cats all the time in their trucks! This pig is smaller than a kitten. She will not be any trouble at all. I am sure she will sleep the entire trip. No words have ever been spoken that were more untrue. So off to work hubby goes. I am so excited! My little girl is coming home. I was in constant contact with the seller and she dropped her off right on time. I called hubby to see how the hand off went. He said that they were very nice and that my new piggy which I have now named Clover was in the seat next to him sleeping. Phew! Thank goodness. Well that did not last long. About 20 minutes later I get a call from hubby. He is literally freaking out. And all I can hear in the background is Clover squealing. I am at this point trying so hard not to let him hear me laughing. Oh my poor hubby. He just keeps asking what is wrong with her. I tell him maybe she is scared. And he just needs to give her some love. And I wish him luck. Well 15/20 minutes go by with no calls. That is a good sign. Another 20 minutes go by. Still no call. And then I get a picture sent to me. Hubby has his hand in the box resting and Clover is snuggled up into his palm. My heart just melted! Well let’s just say they bonded on the road trip. When he got her home and I took her. He kept asking where she was and that she did not need to be left alone. He wanted to hold her. Ya’ll that is my hubby. What a good man. So I am happy to report that Ms. Clover is spoiled beyond belief. And loved by the entire family. And now she is a world traveler. She goes everywhere with me. She goes to the stores and always ends up getting treats. Everyone just adores her. She even has a princess bed she sleeps in. All I can say is that she is “Some Pig” ;)And I have the best Husband!

Nothing But A Hair Piece

So this is totally my fault!I have two chicken coops. I have one large one that all of the larger chickens go into and I have a smaller one that the bantams and smaller chickens go into.So with this next part I am going to be totally honest. So on the smaller coop I am going to try to explain it visually with my words. So it is about 7 ft long and maybe 4 ft wide. So it is longer than it is wide. On the left side of the coop is the actual house. It is completely enclosed with doors on the front I can open. On the right side is a roost. Now the house and roost are about 3 ft off the ground and the entire coop is covered in chicken wire except the main house part since that is all wood. There are wooden stairs that go from the ground to the house for them to enter into.Holy crap. I have no idea if you all can visualize this. Sounds like I am describing a crazy chicken prison. I am only missing the barbed wire. It’s really not that bad. Wait. This is just too much. I am going to take a picture to attach with this. I’ll be right back. Ok. See attached picture. I think it is very important for ya’ll to see this.So every night I go up and make sure everyone is put to bed for the night. Now I am in Tennessee. And if any of you check the weather it has been raining FOREVER here. I am changing my name and building an ark. But let me just say I am NOT bringing stick bugs with me. Those little monsters. Not happening. Ok back to me getting my butt kicked by a chicken. So being 100% honest the stairs had fallen off months ago. And for whatever reason I just placed them back up on the house and just kinda propped them there. I know I know a few screws Mandy and Boom fixed. But I never have the screws and drill up there at the same time. And I am lazy and will have to squat and bend over to fix them. Ya’ll I am very accident prone. Just in case you have not figured this out yet. I am laughing out loud while writing this.Oh you all know this very well! And I have just been putting this minor repair off. TRUST me very very bad decision.So everyone is put to bed. And this is the final coop to close up. So I have two chickens that are on the roost. These are the two rebels that do not go inside unless it is arctic freezing outside. And then it turns into a shoving match between me and them. Me trying to shove them inside so they don’t freeze into chicken Popsicle and for them to jump around over and under to get away from me. I have already been outside for about 10/15 minutes by now in the rain putting everyone else away. I am started to get pretty saturated. Umbrella you say! Ya no. That is not happening. The wind will just fight me for it and that is one battle I do not have in me tonight.So as I go to close the rebel coop up I notice the stupid stairs are on the ground. AGAIN. So I go ahead and bend over and scooch down to pick up the stairs and lean them back up so they can walk into the coop if they want. At this time they are on the roost. So Right as I get my hands on the stairs the rebel chickens spook and start flipping out. For real! They know me. No stranger danger here.Well of course I have had to get half of my body into the coop bent over and of course my friggin head is part of this scenario. When all of the sudden this crazy chicken in her panic to get away from me. I was not even going for you jerk! Flapping around she gets her claw/foot caught in my hair. FOR HEAVEN’S SAKES. My hair. Are you kidding me. I’m screaming the chicken is screaming because she thinks my hair is some sort of death net. I am screaming because her claws are sharp. If you haven’t looked at a chicken foot do IT now. It’s a weapon. A weapon I tell you. I am full on trying to fight this chicken. I do not want her to claw my face with her foot weapons. They scratch their poop ya’ll. They scratch everything with that weapon she is dangerously close to my face. I will get an infection. I am trying to grab her without totally killing her or damaging her wings, trying to back out of the coop soakin wet and sliding in the mud. And I swear to god. If she poops in my face that’s it! I mean it! I will eat her! So now she is hanging upside down from my hair that is attached to my head pulling it out. I grab her and back out of the coop.Do you have any idea how many times I just stand in a spot and just shake my head. Alot ya’ll ALOT!. And this is another one of those moments.I pry her foot weapons from my hair which is wet. So it’s not the easiest task. In the rain in the mud in the dark. I get her out of my hair and I literally throw her back in the coop. I don’t care call PETA. They can have her.And the stupid stairs are still on the ground. Tough! Jump if you want in.Don’t mind me as I swim back to my house. I’m going to take a shower!

My Cat Is A Assassin

So most of my adventures, yes that’s what I will call them adventures. Happen outside with my farm animals.

Not today ladies and gentleman NOT today!

So my daughter was not feeling well today. And ended up going to bed early. I decided to go upstairs and check on her to make sure she was okay. Now I did not want to turn the light on in the hallway due to the fact that where her bed is placed in her room if you open the door it lights up her bed like a disco party. And I was trying to be the loving considerate mom. Bad Bad decision. I should have lit it up like the fourth of July.

I creep into her room quiet as a mouse and peek at her. She is sleeping soundly.

I quietly close the door and start to make my descend down the stairs. Now I get to about the 3^rd stair when all of the sudden unbeknownst to me our cat is laying on the stairs like a ninja contemplating my assassination. I of course did not see the killer waiting for me due to the fact I did not turn on any lights. So as I go to step down YEP it is right on her. Now the screams that left that cats body. She sounded possessed. Scratching and hissing. It scared the crap out of me. As I attempted to not crush her even though she is trying to kill me, I of course jump up and away. Screaming at my assassin for being there. I have lost my footing and my body plummets down. Going down hard! Timber! .Bouncing off the wall and handrail like a game of pinball. And of course my front door is at the bottom of the stairs and guess what stops me. Slamming into the front door. So as I lay there body all twisted. I look like I am playing some alternate game of Twister. The ninja cat assassin casually walks over and past my body. Not even giving me a side glance. NOPE. Just walks away. She is not even limping. I am so mad she is not limping. If I could reach her. Ohhhh. She would be limping.

So I start to check my injuries. Ok. Let’s put this leg back there. Let’s put this arm back where it goes. Yep. I am going to feel that in the morning. Did I pee on myself? Still not sure. That will have to wait. As I get into a crawling position to get out of the confined space between the front door and stairs. My daughter peeks out her bedroom door. “Mom are you dead?” Well That is still to be determined at this time. I will let you know. “Ok I’m going back to bed”…. WHAT!

No problem!I will just lay here and die. Go rest your delicate little head child. Sorry to disturb you! For GOD SAKES ALIVE. I am just laying here because I was checking on you!

I make it to the livingroom and am happy to report that I can seriously take a beating. I am not as battered as I thought. A bit sore. A few small scrapes from the handrail which I did not use! Really Mandy it’s there for a purpose. Still not sure if I peed myself. But I think I am ok.

Now! Time to find that Cat!

No Olympics For Me

Ok ya’ll I’m dying. I can hardly breathe. Holy crap I think I need CPR. Wait let me backup and tell you what happened. So here in Tennessee we finally have a nice day. For weeks it has rained and rained and rained some more. I mean I need to get into a boat to get to my car. I wear floaties to work. It’s just ridiculous. So I was down at the house and have started working on prepping for my garden growing season. I grow lots of veggies on the farm. So here I am making sure my seed starter trays are all in order reviewing my seeds. Planning on what I am planting and when. And I just so happen to look up at the yard where all of my animals are. And something white catches my eye in Mr.Bullet (my 70/75 lb pig) pig pen. So here I am just standing there trying to figure what what in the world is in his pen with him. It’s white and his meaty body is blocking it so I can only see just the top. And I notice it is moving. Today is so friggin windy. I mean the wind is really no joke. You start walking one way and the wind is like HA nope and pushes you in the opposite direction. Well I guess I’m going this way now. So anyway. I am standing there and trying so hard to see what it is. Not going to lie I am being lazy and really do not want to walk up there. I have to go up there in a little bit and that is just extra walking I don’t want to do right now. I’m tired ya’ll. So I I try to get my x-ray vision to work. I see the top of this white mysterious thing move again with the wind and it is right on the side of my Bullet man. And then my heart jumps out of my chest. Oh No it looks like one of those plastic trash bags you get at the grocery store. Oh God. No No Bullet don’t eat that. So I take off like The Flash. Ok not The Flash but really fast. I am running with all my might. If he eats this he might die. I am in full panic mode. Plastic is bad. Bullet no. This stupid wind has blown a plastic trash bag into the yard. Now let me just say I do not run. NOPE. Not this girl. I only run if I am being chased and then I decide if it’s worth the run. I mean if it can catch me. And Eat me quick. I’m not going to die being eaten and out of breath. So here I am running like a psycho up to the pig pen. Yelling the entire time. And right as I jump over the electric fence. Yes ya’ll I jumped. And trust me, It was not pretty and by the way I am limping like a straight pimp because I seriously pulled something in my leg and maybe my back during this jump that should have never happened. So as I clear the fence like an olympic amateur who has NEVER competed before. And I get to my buddy who I think is making a horrible life decision to eat this plastic grocery bag. I stop dead in my tracks. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I mean really. This is not my life! It’s not a grocery bag! WHAT!!! I swear I am cursing ALOT..ALOT! It’s a chicken. A stinking white chicken Just standing to his side. And what I thought was plastic blowing in the wind was her butt feathers. Her BUTT feathers.I am so MAD. I can’t breath. I am doubled over. Trying to get oxygen to my lungs. Ya’ll it’s so bad I sit right on the ground. Down I go. No cares in the world. I could care less what I am sitting in. I cannot believe I just ran to save his life from a CHICKEN. Oh god,. I need oxygen. I am literally in duck and chicken crap just shaking my head. And what makes it worse I did it to myself. For a CHICKEN. Now that I can breath well kinda. I am no longer turning blue. I get up and realize that my Olympic leap has left me wounded worse than I thought. My leg. Of god. I pulled something. Ok maybe pulled A FEW THINGS..What was I thinking. So now as I drag my leg over the fence and walk/crawl gimp my way toward the house. I am having a very stern conversation with myself. Lots of choice words. All of this for a Chicken.

Don’t Answer That Phone

All I can say is thank goodness it was not me! So we have two pigs on our Farm. Mr. Bullet who is a 70/75 lbs Japanese Potbelly that I ended up rescuing. And a 15 lbs mini potbelly named Clover. So Mr.Bullet lives outside in his pen and Clover stays inside. She will eventually end up moving outside once the weather warms up. We have had Clover now for about two months. I take her up to the yard with all of my other names everyday to get her use to them all. I also have chickens, ducks, rabbits and of course Bullet. So with Bullet being a male and older I am having to introduce them very slowly. Anyone with pigs knows that they can be aggressive. I feel confident they will become fast friends just because Bullet is extremely docile and has a wonderful personality. So yesterday I asked hubby if he would come up to the pen with me. I was taking Clover up to hang with Bullet for a bit. Now note I am in the pen the entire time and if I see any issues I will intervene immediately. Since the past introductions have gone so well. I wanted hubby up there to record this for me. I do not want to be distracted in watching them closely but I wanted to record there hang out time because it is super cute to watch. Now Clover is super lovable. And has been extremely spoiled by me. I just can’t help it guys she is just too cute. That little face. You just melt. So anyway. She is not a fan of being picked up. I do it very slowly and keep her hugged to my body when I pick her up. So we are both up at the pen. I am inside the pen with both pigs. Well I have let them have there time to get to know one another for the day and I am ready to get Clover out. I ask hubby if he can pick up Clover and place her outside the pen since I am going to stay in and give Mr. Bullet some belly rubs for being a good boy and not eating Clover. Ya’ll I just can’t This is the funniest thing ever. So he goes to pick up Clover. And she starts just flipping out and screaming. Oh My God have you ever heard a pig scream. It is so loud. I mean ear piercing. And she is fighting him with all her might. He starts screaming help help. Get your pig. She is freaking out. Now I am laughing so hard at what I seeing. So I go over grab her and set her down. EASY. Hubby is like what is wrong with that pig. Still laughing I said “you did not pick her up correct”. Well I thought that little tantrum was over and I got a good little giggle out of it. Oh the tantrum that keeps on giving. As I go to tend to Bullet Hubby is like REALLY! Followed by a few other choice words, and I turn to see what happened. He is like, your pig pooped on me. Now it is all over his pants, shoes. Oh it’s funny. I told him you scared the crap out of her. He was not amused. So now he is trying to get what poop he can off his shoes. AND THE BEST THING HAPPENED. My stomach hurts so bad. If I only could have recorded what happened next. Oh you guys his face. Our daughter calls. And he answered his phone! Now do you remember I asked him up to help me record. LOL, He did not! Not only did Clover poop all over him but she somehow aimed her poop shootin butt at his PHONE. He gets maybe one word out and realizes his phone has poop on it and now his face does too. I’m rolling. He’s gagging, swearing, spitting. AND I am not helping at all. I can’t move. If I move I swear I will pee all over myself. I am even having to cross my legs at this point of time because I cannot stop laughing. At this point he has stomped away toward the house toward safety. I think I will just stay up here for a while. Let him get cleaned up. I don’t think he will be agreeing to record anything for me for a while.

Clover The Pig Throws A Party!

Let me start off by saying I cannot make this stuff up! So I have a mini potbelly pig named Clover. She is about four months old. When I first got Clover home she was so tiny that I decided to keep her in the house. I made her a little tote with her very own blankets and toys. But as she has gotten bigger I have come to realize that she cannot stay in the house anymore. She weighs about 15lbs. and she is way to curious and gets into everything. So I decided to move her to the garage. Now before you ask I am not able to put her outside in her pen yet because we are located in Tennessee and we are still getting some pretty cold temps. And since she is so little I do not want her getting sick due to the cold weather. Well she has been out in the garage for about two weeks now. She has a cage with lots of blankets, She has a little bed I got for her also out there that she can lounge in if she doesn’t want to be in the cage. So the 1st few days went great. No issues. But then I started noticing she was getting more and more adventurous. Now I was able to clean and repair all of those issues without hubby finding out. He has already told me she was going to wreak havoc and I am like no no. She is just precious. Crap. I can’t let him see he is so friggin RIGHT! This pig is going to be the death of me. She is like a toddler only I can legally lock her in a cage. So I am in the kitchen and I see hubby heading into the garage. All of the sudden he starts yelling no wait screaming my Name. OH MY GOD! I just know it was something Clover did. Oh crap. I swear I went through that garage like a brand new mom who has never had kids childproofing that place like a ninja. Oh god he is so mad. I seriously am contemplating just running the other way. What honey. No I did not hear you screaming. Nope. Yep maybe I’ll just drive to Texas. Ok here I go. I mean really how bad can it be. So as I head to the garage he opens the door to yell for me again. And just over his shoulder I see what I think might be smoke. Smoke. Holy Crap. Is the garage on fire. Why in the world is he not calling 911. So now I start to run toward him. And bust through the door like the State Puff Marshmallow Man. GOD HAVE MERCY! There is a thick white powder ALL over the garage. It looks like Clover has thrown a full on Rave. All she is missing is the party lights. And in the middle of the garage there the little culprit is. Just running around leaving her little pig prints as she goes. Not a care in the world. Now I will leave out the words that are coming out of my husbands mouth. And let me just say I had to use a thesaurus to find the definition for several. Yep that one is bad. Yep that one is really bad. I think he made that one up. Yep he’s mad. So as I stand in this cloud of powder chasing this pig around the garage trying to catch her to place her in her cage so I can open the garage door. She is not making this easy. She thinks it’s a game. Really. Now you want to play chase. Slipping and sliding as I try desperately to get ahold of her. Clover! Stop. You better come here. I am playing with you. I finally am able to get ahold of her. So now that I have her in the cage I open the garage door to try to clear out this powder and figure out what in the world has happened. Now like I said previously, I thought I had for sure childproofed no pig proofed the garage. What could she have gotten into. You will never guess what she did. I mean I cannot believe this. So we have a fire extinguisher that we keep on the top step. This bad bad pig has knocked the fire extinguisher off the stairs. I am still not sure how the pin came out. Did it pop out when it fell. Did this little creature pull the pin. But however it has happened the pin has been removed and she has somehow sprayed the fire extinguisher all over the garage. How is that even possible. There is powder everywhere on everything. This cannot be happening. So two hours later. I am happy to report that I have most of the powder cleaned up. I have once again went through the garage and pig proofed it. Nothing was left unchecked or touched by me. I definitely underestimated Clover and her little adventures in the garage. And yes I had to admit to hubby he was right!

Also for all those wondering. Clover was checked out and is completely fine. So not only did she have a great RAVE party but also gave me a vet bill.

He’s Calling OSHA On Me

So I have been building a small storage shed for the last month. I have been collecting pallets that I find because I am cheap wait I call it thrifty and I am not buying wood. Woods expensive. And in my head I’m going for that rustic look yeah rustic that’s what I will call it. Now I have been pretty happy with myself. I even got a tool belt! So I am on my way up to my construction site. I’m not going to lie. I have a walk ya’ll. It’s a cocky walk. I am a builder. I have my tool belt on. I got my handy dandy drill. I feel like Tim The Tool Man Taylor. I might even start to scratch and chug a beer. So as I swagger myself on up there and start working on my project I’m feeling pretty powerful. I’m a builder hear me roar. Oh yeah! I’ll be roaring alright. I set all my supplies up and start working on securing the pallets I have already set in place the day before. I have them tacked on with screws but now I need to go in and secure them all to each other and to the base I made. I have my little radio with me and I am jamming to Backstreet Boys, YES I like their songs. “Everybody rock your body, Everybody, Rock your body right” Yes y’all I am really getting into it. So I go to screw in a screw that is in a tight space so I have to angle my arm just a bit and apply some extra pressure on the drill when all of the sudden the drill twarks (is that a word) and just about rips my arm from my body as it throws me into the pallet like I am a piece of unwanted meat. I immediately drop the drill and for a few moments I am just looking at my arm. I mean I am in total shock. How could my arm just do that to me. I feel totally betrayed. Where did it think it was going to go. Why I’m not blaming the drill well the intense pain that is starting to sear it’s way through my body has my mind not working right. I want to move but I can’t remember how. And this entire time I am just standing there looking at my arm. Yep. I think I have torn it from my body. I mean it’s just hanging there.Limp. I killed it! Well buddy it’s been nice having you at my side. Now I am getting mad at the drill. I even start to yell at it. Why did you just try to kill me. Why did you just rip my arm from my body. You stupid drill. I give a good home. I charged you. You have a nice tool belt to live in. And you just tried to assassinate me. So slowly I start to move my arm. Yep it hurts. I really need this arm. So first I move my fingers and than start on moving the arm. Holy crap. Shooting pain. I might faint, This can’t be good. A little more movement. Well it’s still there. I haven’t torn it off it just feels like it. And of course what starts playing from the Backstreet Boys. “Stronger”. Shut up Backstreet. I’m not stronger than yesterday. My drill just tried to kill me. On a small side note hubby told me to wait for him, he would be home shortly. But OH NO. I’m Tim The Tool Man. So now I have to go inside and call him. And tell him Tim is injured. Ugg I just had to be a builder. I could not just wait. Ms. Independent here. Last time I attempted to build something he said he was calling OSHA on me. Well this should be a fun call.

That Hurt!

Well that sucked. Went up to the coop this morning for morning chores. Well over night everything froze. On my way back to the house I fell slipped on ice and hurt well my everything. Yep my name is not Grace. Thank goodness I had on my housecoat as I lay in I am sure a ton of chicken and duck poop contemplating how injured I was. And trying to figure out if I peed on myself. There was a glimmer of hope the chickens came to check on me. Running full speed. I was so happy. My girls were coming to check on me. NOPE. They only wanted to see what I dropped and to see if there was anything they could scavenge from me as I lay there. One even stepped over my cold injured body as I lay there. All I can say is I am too old to be falling let alone into the frozen ground. Don’t mind me as I drag my injured poop covered self inside. This is not my day.

I did a Bad Bad thing!

Oh my God y’all I did a bad bad thing! I have had some duck eggs in my incubator. This one did not hatch. So I decided to investigate. Bad bad decision. As I cradled this delicate egg BOOM it explodes. All over me! Somebody help me. It’s so disgusting. I can barely see through the tears from gagging and throwing up so much. Oh my goodness you guys it got on me. It’s on my arms. I can’t get away from it. This is so awful. I’m seriously going to bleach myself. I opened this in my house What Was I Thinkin! Oh my God my dog is gagging! I cannot handle this. Why am I so inquisitive! What Was I Thinkin! This is awful. My house is never going to smell good again. I can’t escape it! I seriously think I might have to move. My poor dog. I think my dog is going to puke. Forget curiosity killed the cat, it’s going to kill me. And my dog! Listen life lesson never ever open an old duck egg! You’ll never be the same.