I Guess He Is Not Sleeping

Ya’ll I try so hard. I really do but I am telling you now. I think I just have to go ahead and accept I am a straight klutz. I have absolutely no grace in this body. It has been this way for over 40 yrs. I think it is time that I just accept that. Crap! So my husband works a unique shift at his job and has to leave very early in the morning.  So he goes to bed before we all do. Now I try so hard to keep the house quiet and be respectful when he is sleeping. I really try. But this is just one example of why this is out of my control. So he was sleeping the other night and I had to use the bathroom. Now our bathroom is off of our bedroom. You have to walk through our bedroom to enter the bathroom. Now I always tiptoe through our room so as not to disturb him. Y’all I have even ninja crawled several times to get to my bathroom. I seriously use 007 moves to get there. So I am in the bathroom. I always close the door first before turning on the light. See I am being considerate. Now that I am safely in the bathroom, I take a shower before getting ready for bed. On a side note we have a fan that we sleep with at night so the sound does help muffle out noise. Note Muffle. I have finished my shower and I go to open one of the drawers in our bathroom cabinet. That is where we keep our Q-Tips. As I open the drawer Holy Crap! My husband has a beard trimmer he keeps on the sink. As I open the drawer the cord of the trimmer was caught on the handle..Now I did not notice this because it is not a bright light. We have a dimmer on our bathroom light and I always keep it low. Once again trying to be considerate. Well as I open the drawer the trimmer goes flying to floor. As this happens it knocks over the cup he keeps on his side throwing it into the sink. The deodorant goes flying, The mouthwash goes flying. I look like one of those circus clowns trying to jungle all of these items keeping them from falling. I swear I hear circus music playing in the background. In my juggling escapade my towel goes to drop, on instinct I go to grab for it! Why! Why did I do that! It’s not like anyone is in there. As I grab for it my foot slips on the trimmer that is on the floor, I forgot about in my panic to catch these flying items from making even more noise. As I slip on the trimmer I fall back toward the tub and of course I am one of those females that has to have 10,000 different bottles of shower products literally all over my tub! I mean it literally looks like a section at Wal-Mart. Price Check in Mandy’s tub! It’s a situation. And yes as I fall back I knock every single bottle into the tub that my flailing body can touch! So here I am sitting on the edge of the tub. I have just made more noise than a marching band coming through my house. Towel half on. Deodorant in one hand mouth wash in the other. And slowly the bathroom door opens. YEP. It’s hubby. I can only imagine what this looked like through his eye. He looks at me looks at the floor. And in my sweetest voice I say. Sorry babe. Love you. He just shakes his head and walks out. Poor guy!  After 17 yrs of marriage I mean what else can he do. But I just want to state for the record. I think I was setup. It’s a conspiracy. I am serious! He knows I have to go in there. Why set-up booby traps for me. You know I will get caught. I can’t escape those. I can’t even walk on a flat surface without injury and you are going to place cords anywhere near me. That is just a set-up for disaster! Now I clean up this mess and once again ninja crawl back to the  living room.  Hopefully this will happen without any further incidents. I will let ya’ll know.


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